Good Bye

May 14, 2008 at 7:19 am (Uncategorized)

I want to say thank you for the beautiful and kind words you left me.  It is more than I got from anyone I know. I have one friend in life but she lives on another continent in another time zone and country, she is dear and special and has been tremendously important.  It does not however offer the physical presence of human contact I so absolutely need.

I want to thank her here for everything she has done for me and meant to me and tell her that I love her dearly.

My life fell apart a long time ago, I tried to glue the pieces together I tried to carry on, each day took every ounce of strength I had just to survive, it took five years to get the courage together to confront the truth and it shattered me completely, there is no coming back from this.

Maybe there is someone else and maybe there is not but he certainly is not around here.

I started this blog to try and find some place in this world where I could just say I am not invisible, I exist and it has been a tremondous experience. For a few months I had a reason to get up in the mornings, I had a reason to smile again, I had, almost most importantly, a reason to be creative again.  When creative juices flow the soul can heal.

But this is one hurt too many and I know how pathetic and useless I am, I love this man with all my soul but I hate so much what he has done, he was the only reason I had to live.

I do not think I will continue with this blog but I have decided not to delete it, as long as you keep downloading the links will remain active but you do not need to leave any comments as there will be no one here to read them.  Maybe the rest of my story will help others. I know some of it is in Afrikaans and many of you cannot read those parts but I live in Namibia and the news and events I responded to at the time where in the lives of Afrikaaners, my people.

I thought of naming these two people and shaming them but they have to live with what they have done.

Thank you so much to all 30 000 + of you who came to visit me here, please if you have someone that loves you love them and appreciate them.



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Now what?

May 10, 2008 at 7:58 am (General Ramblings, life)

Can someone tell what happens to a man?  I lived with a man for twenty years for 18 of those years, he was difficult to live with, but he was basically kind and honest, he was faithful, he had moral values and decency.

Then suddenly he changed, he became mean and abusive, he started screwing around. I forgave him and gave him a second chance and then he plotted with my best friend to throw me out of my home, they started a campaign to drive me over the edge, she of course hoping I would commit suicide, I tried.

He made her a partner in the business I had sacrificed so very much for, she gave him 100 000 rand to let her move into my home.

 I put it down to the male midlife crises and when he had an epiphany and realised what he had done, I was a sucker for some more punishment and naively forgave him and he asked me to wait while he “sorted out his problem” five years of tears and heartache later, working at the crappiest possible jobs, living in tiny one bedroom apartments, I waited.  I gave up working and lived on the hand outs he gave me in return for sex.

And he lied and lied and lied, I suspected he was lieing so after trying to get the truth out of him I asked for proof which of course he could not provide, so I got the proof myself. And I got to spit in her face which was something I have wanted to do for a long time.

Now i just wonder how can someone who until he was forty was a decent human being turn into a lieing, backstabbing, cheat in five years?

I cannot work, my emotional health is too fragile and unstable, I am dependant on him and I have no where to go. I had lovely horses, they took them from me also and they took all my cats. Now I have two wonderful cats whose lives will also be disrupted, and I care about my animals after what people have done to me, I much prefer them anyway.

I have no one, no family, no friends, I spend my days completely alone, I started this blog just so that I can feel like I am not insane.

I loved and trusted someone for 25 years and he was not who I thought he was.


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Scrapbooking Updates

May 10, 2008 at 7:28 am (Uncategorized)

I will not be posting any new scrapbooking items for the next few days.

I apologise for any inconvenience.

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Word Art 9/5

May 9, 2008 at 6:40 pm (Freebies, Scrapbooking, Wordart)

Love with an honest heart.

Size 354kb

“The fastest way to lose what we call our good character is to lose our honesty”


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Word Art 8/5 Forever

May 8, 2008 at 7:16 pm (Freebies, Scrapbooking, Wordart)

Forever, it’s a such a big word, we all want something to last forever but they never do, so sometimes I wonder why such a word even exists.

Here are two versions.

Size 300kb

“Time doesn’t always heal: it just breathes and swallows memories like the seasons
change – sending showers; beating flowers into the mud. And nothing is forever in this
place. Nothing but the way my heart fits in your hands; the held breath of hope;”


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Word Art and Lyrics 7/5

May 7, 2008 at 7:44 pm (Freebies, Scrapbooking, song lyrics, Wordart)

Two different versions of damage…..

Size 117kb


by Plumb

Dreaming comes so easily
’cause it’s all that i’ve known
True love is a fairy tale
I’m damaged, so how would i know

I’m scared and i’m alone
I’m ashamed
And i need for you to know

I didn’t say all the things that i wanted to say
And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
’cause i feel you, i feel you near me

I didn’t say all the things that i wanted to say

And you can’t take back what you’ve taken away
’cause i feel you, i feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I’m damaged, as i’m sure you know

There’s mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but i can’t go back


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Word Art 6/5

May 6, 2008 at 6:19 pm (Freebies, Scrapbooking, Wordart)

Some new word art for you today, these two are beauties and I have no idea anymore how I made them.

My lines were down again, copper theft is really crippling telecommunications, lines disappeared while I was on a call last night, it is scary how bad things are becoming.


Size 402 kb


“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”

– Plato


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Lady Marmalade Kit

May 3, 2008 at 2:59 pm (Freebies, Kits, Scrapbooking)

Well I’ve been working on this kit for more than a week now and I have run out of steam lol, I am not that happy with the kit either, some of the items are ok but I am not so sure about the rest.  If you like download, otherwise just pretend you never saw it.

I made seamless tiles instead of papers, some work well on large areas and others on smaller areas, just try them out.  I love those big papers but they are too big for me to upload or download so I will make smaller papers or seamless tiles with my kits.

I used various other fonts and dingbats that I did not credit, I am sorry guys, I absolutely love fonts and as a result have very many, as all font lovers do, it’s impossible to keep track, please know that I mean no disrespect and appreciate what you do immensely.

Kit is in eight parts (I am sorry it’s in so many parts it was the only way I could upload it.)

Part One Size  3976

Part Two Size 782kb 

Part Three 254kb 

Part Four 1741kb

Part Five 1646kb 

Part Six

Part Seven 760kb

Part Eight


“the greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”

Credits For Lady Marmalade by Khamisi

Superblade Pro Preset Bac White Gold by

Brushes Scrap Stew Sue Spring Things

Brushes by Coolwing

Brushes by Midnightstouch

Brushes by Ninth Infektion and KeRen at

Font for Word Art Maitre-d Regular

Tutorial for fan


1 Birdhouse
1 Set Brackets
2 Butterflies
4 Buttons
2 Frames
2 Fans
2 Flowers
2 Journals
1 Set Stitches and Strings
2 Tags
5 Word Art
10 Seamless Tiles



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Word Art 2/5

May 2, 2008 at 7:38 pm (Freebies, Scrapbooking, Wordart)

I am considering moving my blog to another host, I will keep you updated.  I was hoping Word Press would sort out the image uploading issues but it seems no go and I am fed up, pity I love this blog and I think Word Press is great.

Some more word art for you.

Size 388kb

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”

– Old Chinese Saying

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Word Art 1/5

May 1, 2008 at 5:27 pm (Freebies, Scrapbooking, Wordart)

I knew I had some more word art some where so I hunted them down.

Size 239kb

“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.”

– Chief Seattle

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