Mornings, Rain

January 23, 2008 at 12:37 pm (life)

Ek’s verwaand ook. Ek wil mense stop en sê: ”hoe kan julle sit en gesellig wees terwyl ander mense se lewens uitmekaar val?”

Steve Hofmeyr, Blog, January 23

I felt like that too for a long time, when I woke up in the morning to the cheerful chirping of the birds I wanted to go out and tell them to shut up and respect my pain. I still cannot stand the mornings, it’s too cheerful, I’ve blacked my bedroom out, no light gets in.  I go to bed as late as possible so my day can start as late as possible.

Lately Mondays are the absolute worst, I wake up on Mondays feeling like death warmed over. Now I do not interrrupt my sleeping routine at all and maintain it throughout the week so there is no physical reason for feeling worse on Mondays. But Monday mornings I feel severely depressed.

The Steve Hofmery saga is a sad one and I agree with many of the comments I have read on various blogs that ten years is not a mistake and cannot be made out to be one.  However I will not withdraw as his fan or say that I now dislike him, I cannot do that, it would be hypocrtical of me.  I now exactly what he is, I have lived most of my life with someone just like him, the same words, the same actions, the same deeds, the same excuses, the same defensiveness, the same charm, arrogance and ego, I know it all, 25 years of it. And I thought my guy was unique, what a joke and it’s on me. I still love my ex, I wish he would grow a spine but it does not change the good in him either.

My favorite Steve Hofmeyr songs are:

7 Steelway

Hoe Voel jy nou?

Windgat de Klerk

Love’s the Light 

Load shedding is looming and I am not looking forward to it at all, it’s going to get me down. 

The clouds are lovely today and at least it is not as humid as it was yesterday, 70% humdity is never pleasant. The country has been getting wonderful rain and storm warnings have been issued for some areas, where I live it has barely rained at all, weird. I am glad the farmers are getting rain, the rivers and underground water all getting topped up, wonderful, now can we get some too please.

I am saddened by Heath Ledger’s death, it is a tragedy when a young man dies before he has even reached his prime.


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