Now what?

May 10, 2008 at 7:58 am (General Ramblings, life)

Can someone tell what happens to a man?  I lived with a man for twenty years for 18 of those years, he was difficult to live with, but he was basically kind and honest, he was faithful, he had moral values and decency.

Then suddenly he changed, he became mean and abusive, he started screwing around. I forgave him and gave him a second chance and then he plotted with my best friend to throw me out of my home, they started a campaign to drive me over the edge, she of course hoping I would commit suicide, I tried.

He made her a partner in the business I had sacrificed so very much for, she gave him 100 000 rand to let her move into my home.

 I put it down to the male midlife crises and when he had an epiphany and realised what he had done, I was a sucker for some more punishment and naively forgave him and he asked me to wait while he “sorted out his problem” five years of tears and heartache later, working at the crappiest possible jobs, living in tiny one bedroom apartments, I waited.  I gave up working and lived on the hand outs he gave me in return for sex.

And he lied and lied and lied, I suspected he was lieing so after trying to get the truth out of him I asked for proof which of course he could not provide, so I got the proof myself. And I got to spit in her face which was something I have wanted to do for a long time.

Now i just wonder how can someone who until he was forty was a decent human being turn into a lieing, backstabbing, cheat in five years?

I cannot work, my emotional health is too fragile and unstable, I am dependant on him and I have no where to go. I had lovely horses, they took them from me also and they took all my cats. Now I have two wonderful cats whose lives will also be disrupted, and I care about my animals after what people have done to me, I much prefer them anyway.

I have no one, no family, no friends, I spend my days completely alone, I started this blog just so that I can feel like I am not insane.

I loved and trusted someone for 25 years and he was not who I thought he was.



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Link Page Updates

April 20, 2008 at 12:20 pm (General Ramblings)

I tried to update the pages this morning but I am sorry to say I am forced to abandon the entire project, my apologies to everyone, please go through the posts to find my freebies. The pages I have already done will stay as they are.

The new software WordPress created is great in some aspects, but inserting images is painfully slow and tedious and I simply to not have the time to sit and do it, not to mention what it does to my phone bill.


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About Rapidshare

April 18, 2008 at 1:31 pm (General Ramblings)

I have had some complaints about Rapidshare, I know Rapidshare is not infallible, no download site is, but truth is these invaluable services are being offered for free and you do not need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out. So we have to put up with the quirks and idiosyncrasies of these services. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t in which case if you really want something go back later. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

There is a tutorial on my blog on how to use Rapidshare, the link is also on the right and there are tuts on many other blogs and sites as well.

If for some reason you refuse to use Rapidshare then so be it.

I have to use Rapidshare, it is the strongest uploader, I live in a country, that only, at best, has ISDN dial up, the connections are poor and often dropped, it is an enourmous struggle for me to upload or download anything and the costs are very high, we pay by the minute for time spent online, pfaffing around with uploads or downloads is expensive, Rapidshare is fast and most people do not have a problem with it.

I know my problems are not your problems and I’d love everyone to have access to my stuff, so please make the effort on your part also, as I do what I can from my side and I ask you nothing for it.

So if you are a first time visiter to my blog but do not like Rapidshare, or want to take the time to acquaint yourself with how it works then there is nothing I can do about it. Close the page.

I spend allot of time making these freebies, I enjoy it and I love sharing, so for you it is just free to grab, unlike most blog owners I do not ask for a thank you or expect any so consider the fact that I get about five thank yous per 120 downloads and you will know why I am not going to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone.

If you want help I will be glad to assist, all you need do is ask, leave me a reachable e-mail address in the comment section, comments are on moderation, no one can read your comment until I approve it and I will not put it in if you do not want me too. Just stating that you have a problem with rapidshare is not asking and I cannot help.

If something else is wrong and I am made aware of it I will attend to it soonest.

That’s the last I will say on Rapidshare until such time as matters improve with the Internet connection things will stay as they are.

Thank you for those that enjoy my work, those that click on the download links and a big thank you for all those of you that leave kind comments.


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